The Minds Bends to its Bane
” I was childish and unfair
To you, my only friend
I regret, but now it’s too late
I can’t show you any more
The things I’ve learned from you
Cause life just took you away
I’m asking why
Nobody gives an answer
I’m just asking why
But someday we’ll meet again
And I’ll ask you
I’ll ask you why
Why it has to be like this
I’m asking you why
Please give me an answer
Many years and stupid fights
Till we accept to see
How it was and it’ll always be
Why it has to be like this
Why we don’t realize
Why we’re too blind to see the one
Who’s always on our side
I’m asking why
I’m asking why
Nobody gives an answer
I’m just asking why
Just tell me why Why it has to be like this
That the good ones disappear
I’m asking you why
I’m asking why
I’m asking why
Nobody gives an answer” — Enigma – Why?
I woke up to this song and it fitted what I feel inside very much at this moment.
I feel I have let you down. I have went from being something uplifting to something purely a burden. I was to blind to see it. I feel sometimes I have become more a problem than a solution. More a disease than a cure. I don’t know how to be different than I am. I fear that I have been blessed to find love only to find myself ruining it. Everything I desired to do, I am doing opposite. I try so hard to do things right. To be different than everything I hate in others. I think I have hurt you so much that you are now devoid of any feelings. I think I have killed the very thing which I needed. I have ruined my own future. Its pretty bad when you fuck up in the past. When you fuck up in the present. But jeopardizing the future leaves one with very limited possibilities.
I have made so many mistakes that hurt so many. I have doomed my relationship with everyone and burned so many bridges in my past.
I am sorry for my mistakes.
I don’t know exactly where I went wrong in some of them.
I fear the loneliness that always comes like a punctuation mark at the end of a sentence from my mistakes.
I am my own worse enemy.
