Misses His Baby
I miss you Elli.
I am sitting here dreading that shower. Its so cold.
I have completed my paper on blueberries and improved mental functioning and have fixed myself brunch and logged it for my 3-day food intake list for that class tonight also.
I am sitting here thinking about you. Wondering how your sleeping. What you have to do today. Wondering about us. Reviewing emails we have sent. Trying to figure out where I went wrong. Trying to feel things from your perspective. Hoping your love for me is not diminishing with the distance and lack of communication. My feelings have not changed. I still feel as much in love with you now as I always have. I just long for you more. I don’t mean to hurt you. I really try very hard to not hurt you. I want you Elli. And thats something which inside me pulls me to you so strong. It transcends any pain and bridges the gap between me and you. Its that which keeps me focused and going. You matter so much to me. So very much. And I worry about you. About you being alone there and lonely and yet due to circumstances neither of us able to reach out enough for the other at this time. But I know that this will not always be the case. It won’t be long till you have your phone and internet and we can talk more then. And I am always available to you when you need me.
I hope you love me still.
I worry you will just shut me out one day.
I am trying my best to be everything you need.
I just don’t understand somethings sometimes.
*I LOVE YOU ELLI*
